Jess's AFOSMRTDRCHSFATM

For your reading pleasure, I now present:

Jess's Amazing Fantastic One-Sentence Movie Reviews That Don't Really Convey How She Feels About The Movie
(brought to you, in part, by Netflix)

1. Star Trek. Why would you make a movie based on a series that's rich in history and then completely ignore all of the history of the series?

2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I really want one of those crystal skull props.

3. Resident Evil: Degeneration. Watch the bloopers!

4. Jerry Maguire. I know I'm really late on this, but that kid is super cute.

5. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. When did Shia LaBeouf become a decent actor?

6. Catch Me If You Can. Seeing Christopher Walken sad makes me really sad.

7. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Way to be in it for two seconds, Helena Bonham Carter.

8. Tokyo!. Never before have I uttered, "Oh my god, she turned into a chair."

9. Ichi the Killer. Whoever recommended this movie to me was wrong.

10. Sex Drive. The Amish are hilarious.

11. Actium Maximus: War of the Alien Dinosaurs. Noooooooo... no.

12. Lost in La Mancha. Poor Terry Gilliam.

13. My Name Is Bruce. Bruce Campbell in his Bruce Campbelliest role.

14. The Pest. Totally not what I was expecting.